I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
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