Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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