So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize