Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
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I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
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How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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