I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize