i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize