ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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