I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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