There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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