i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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