Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
please come you make the beer taste better
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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