So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize