Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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