Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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