so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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