It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Randomize