jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Drunk is not a location!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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