i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize