Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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