mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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