Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize