dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize