Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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