South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
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Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
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I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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