Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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