just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
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He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
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I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize