youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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