I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
it glows. i had to have it.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize