it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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