Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I am available for nakedness
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize