Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize