plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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