my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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