I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize