My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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