There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize