i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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