Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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