I look better un-naked...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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