I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
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