Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I can't put those talents on a resume
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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