is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Houston, we have a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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