Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize