if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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