Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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