dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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