I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
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im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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