Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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