If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize