i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
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I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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